20 THINGS I LEARNED AT 20

Hello all! I am feeling extra giddy writing this post because my heart is SO full. I turned 21 today and I am overwhelmed with the birthday wishes and love I have been receiving. So, thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! In the spirit of turning 21, I wanted to reflect on my last year; so here are the 20 things I learned at 20. No filter, just truly what I’ve learned through successes and failures this past year.

Okay so 20 was an overall amazing year for me, I am so blessed to be living a healthy life and that I lived yet another year around the sun. Although, it was overall an amazing year, 20 was no doubt the year that has brought the most challenges to my life.

My anxiety was at an all time high especially during the second semester of my sophomore year. I was constantly sick, and most days I woke up extremely unhappy with where I was in life. I was feeling a little stuck in life. Both mentally and literally stuck because I could never leave my room due to the 15 some inches of snow in Pullman that lasted until like April. I had never felt so lost in my entire life, and for me the worst part is that I was no longer excited for my future. I am a huge planner, I literally have the next ten years of my life planned out, so I get terrible anxiety when my week or day isn’t planned. Now, knowing that little fun fact about me, you can only imagine the anxiety I had when I felt like I wanted to drop everything and change my entire life plan. Not following my plans, was NOT in my plans. This feeling and this everyday struggle went on for months and months. I was constantly calling home crying, which is so incredibly unlike me because I never shed tears. If you know, you know. I would get anxiety attacks far too frequently. They got to the point where I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I would try to calm myself down before my roommates got home from class, so they wouldn’t get worried about me. I was all around in a really difficult place, and being the person I am, I tried to hide it from everyone (which didn’t help!). So yeah, 20, was tough. But it was also AMAZING because this past year I have learned more about myself than I ever have before. Here are just a few:

1. LIFE IS NOT MEANT TO BE PLANNED AS MUCH AS I PLAN IT

I am an absolutely crazy planner, and the second something doesn’t go as planned I cannot function properly. So, I’ve realized that being that little ball of stress at all times just can’t be healthy. When possible, ya just gotta  go with the flow.

2. THE MOST CLICHÉ THING YOU EVER DID HEAR… FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!

The world is full of realists and dreamers, I am 100% a dreamer. I think life is too short to not be doing something that you enjoy. That is why I started my blog! I’d been dreaming to do this for years, and I finally got around to starting it. And God bless for that because it is something that I have so much fun with.

3. STOP CARING SO MUCH

I have always cared about what others think about me and the life I choose to live, but FINALLY, at the age of freakin’ 20, I’ve realized that I DON’T CARE!!! Not one bit! Only a handful of people truly know me, and love me for me, those are the ones that matter.

4. IT’S OKAY TO HAVE EMOTIONS (S/O TO YOU CE)

I, for some reason, always tried to hide my emotions if I was sad or mad, or honestly just any emotion other than happy. Until last year, I never really cried in front of anyone, EVER. But, through living with best friend Celina and through having her in my life I’m more comfortable being vulnerable and showing my feelings. Because let’s face it, being around her almost always means she’s going to check in on you. BUT, sharing your emotions is totally normal, and okay!

5. LAUGHING IS THE BEST

I love laughing, I laugh at myself because I’m a funny gal. I just laugh at everything. Like there is no better feeling then getting an ab workout from laughing.

6. IT’S OKAY TO CUT PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE, ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHO AREN’T BENEFITING YOU

There are some people that maybe just weren’t meant to be in your life. This past year I realized that I would put in a lot of effort into someone, and I would never receive that effort back. I also noticed people who aren’t bringing positivity into my life, and I have distanced myself (respectfully) from them as well. I still wish those people well, but I am trying to live my best life, and that’s just not possible if the individuals you surround yourself with are bringing you down.

7. ALWAYS BE KIND

With cutting people out of your life, you don’t have to be rude to them when you see them again. Treat them with the same human kindness and respect that you always have. I’ve that kindness is something that goes so far. There is no point tin being rude to someone.

8. KEEP THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU AS CLOSE TO YOU AS POSSIBLE

I have always known this, but this last year I really tried to make time for those who I care about that I know care about me.

9. ACCEPTING THE LOVE, I’M GIVEN, BUT LOVE THEM HARDER IN RETURN.            

That just explains itself. Enough said.

9. IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY

Working through all of my anxiety this past year freaked me out, I was thrown off that I wasn’t always happy. I learned very recently honestly, that it was okay to not be okay, because when I wasn’t okay I learned and grew the most.

11. SURROUND YOURSELF AROUND THE TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU WANT TO BECOME

Basically, if I was around negative people, I would find myself being negative. So I just started hanging out more and more with people who were uplifting and positive which made all the difference.

12. IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE RIGHT ALL THE TIME (YES ANDY, YOU WIN, BUT ONLY SOMETIMES)

Let’s face it, I can be stubborn. I always want to be right in arguments, but sometimes that just doesn’t get you very far. Sometimesss letting your pride down, and admitting that you were wrong, will be the best thing for the situation.

13. I WANT TO MOVE TO NASHVILLE WHEN I’M OLDER LOL

This is random, I know, but for some reason I belong in Nashville. I just know it.

14. KEEP YOUR MIND AS OPEN AS POSSIBLE

This last year I’ve learned that I want to be a more open minded person, and understand more than one point of view.

15. NOT BE SO STUBBORN

Like I said earlier, I’m stubborn. Lucky for me (and Andy), I’ve learned to budge when needed. But I’m still a work in progress here.

16. HOW TO PAY BILLS

I learned how to pay my rent and other bills, which is great! I mean my parents are so sweet and still help me, but I learned how to actually pay a bill all on my own when needed. That has to count for something, right?

17. TOUGH LOVE IS MY THING, BUT SOMETIMES IT’S BEST TO BE A LITTLE MORE SENSITIVE

Treat people the way THEY want to be treated. Not everyone has thick skin. We are all raised differently, so I learned to try and filter what I say to people, and be more sensitive.

18. MAKE GOALS FOR MYSELF

Having a list of goals that I want to achieve has really helped me this year. I ‘ve realized that setting goals is so important because if you have set goals, then you’ll want to take action to achieve those goals.

19. TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF

Health is by far the most important thing, and when my anxiety was peaking I realized I needed to take care of myself to decrease my constant anxiety. If you aren’t mentally healthy it can be just as bad if not worse as being physically unhealthy.

20. MY PARENTS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS AND I’LL PROBABLY LIVE WITH THEM UNTIL I’M 40.

Mom, Dad, y’all are the real ones. My actual day ones. I would not even know how to do ANYTHING without you two. I am truly so glad I am your daughter.

20 has had its fair share of ups and downs. I’ve had breakdowns and seen some of my lowest points… BUT I also grew the courage to finally do something I love to do and have been wanting to do for over a year now, and that’s to have my own blog. I’ve grown up a ton and have really learned a lot about my life, and more importantly, myself. I have this really great feeling in my gut that 2018 is about to be my year, and I could not be more excited about it. I am so looking forward to see what’s to come, and I could not be more thankful for my supportive family, and my unbelievably amazing friends. Couldn’t do it with out y’all!

Cheers to another year filled with laughter and love! I am one lucky girl.